Dear Teresa McNeece (Itawamba School Superintendent), First off I’d like to congratulate you on successfully building a time machine. This is a huge accomplishment, and one that I assume took you a lot of time and hard work. Not only that, I want to congratulate you on transporting yourself from a time when oppression and [...]

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As you’ve all come to learn I’m one of the most serious, upstanding, and well-respected journalists of our time. In fact, I rank at the top of the list. Call me Woodward or Bernstein (though I probably wouldn’t respond, because that’s not my name). So, as a serious journalist, I feel that my peers (as [...]

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I’ve been feeling a little confused for some time now. First they tell me that the polar ice caps are melting (which got me all excited because I’d finally get to live in a beach-front home), and then they go and tell me that scientists just made the whole thing up (if I remember my [...]

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